We all like to show our highlight reel on social media, but let me just give you a little glimpse of reality….
Tonight Kacy had a band concert at 6:30 but needed to be at the high school by 6:00. On the other end of town, Averi had to be at soccer practice, also at 6:00. Wade was at work and somehow I needed to be in two places at once.
My solution was to drop Averi off at soccer practice 30 minutes early. She could sit at a table and do her homework before practice…no problem. We just needed to leave the house by about 5:05 to have enough time to get there with traffic and snowy weather factored in.
5:05: Keelie, Caden, and Kacy get in the van, ready to go. Averi is in the house trying to gather her homework to take with her.
I was standing by the door, “Averi, do you have everything you need?”
“Almost,” Averi said, “can you get me a water bottle? I’m looking for a pencil.”
I filled up a water bottle from the fridge. “Did you look in the jar?” We have a black metal container that holds four mason jars full of pencils, colored pencils, crayons, and markers that we use for homework.
“Yes, but there’s no pencils in there!”
Kacy honks the van and yells,”Hurry up! We’re gonna be late.”
“What do you mean there’s no pencils?” I go to the buffet table in the dining room where we keep those supplies and look for myself. Sure enough, the pencil jar has only two pencils left, but they’re chewed up and missing an eraser. This kind of thing grosses Averi out and is completely unacceptable to her.
“See, mom. I told you!”
“What happened to all of the pencils that were in here?”
Averi shrugged her shoulders, “I took a couple to school, but not all of them.”
Kacy honks the horn again and starts the van, I look at the clock. It’s 5:08. “We’ve got to go, just use this one.” I grabbed the lesser chewed up pencil and handed it to her.
“Fine, but I need an eraser.” Averi opens a drawer and pulls out a pink eraser.
Kacy honks the horn again, and yells something.
We finally get to the van and Kacy & Averi start arguing over who gets the front seat,
“I need the front seat!” Averi says to Kacy. “I’m getting dropped off first and I need the mirror to put my hair up.”
“”Kace,” I said as I opened the door to climb in the driver’s seat.”Just let Averi sit up front. You can have the front seat after we drop her off.”
“Fine.” Kacy roughly changes her seat to the back. “But, we’re gonna be late now thanks to you, Averi.”
The girls continue bickering and we finally pull out at 5:11.
I put The Sports Spot into the GPS so we all know Averi’s arrival time. ETA is 5:31. No problem. We’ve got this. We’re on our way.
Averi’s in the front seat putting her hair in a ponytail, Kacy’s sitting right behind her sulking, Keelie and Caden are in the van along for the ride and will be attending Kacy’s band concert.
Kacy leans forward. “Mom, just drop me off first. I can’t be late.”
“Honey, you don’t have to be there until 6:00. I can’t drop you off 45 minutes early. It’ll be okay. We left in plenty of time. The only thing that could make us late at this point is a car accident.”
5:24 Wade calls. “Hi honey, my arrival time is 5:58. I’m going to make it to the concert by the skin of my teeth.”
“No big deal, the concert doesn’t start until 6:30.” I said.
“Are you sure about that?” Wade asks on speaker phone.
“Yes, Dad,” Kacy says. “I have to be there at 6:00 to practice first.”
“On the Cozi it says the concert is at 6;00 with an arrival time of 5:30.” Wade says.
“No!!!!” I’m stopped at a red light frantically going through my email and sure enough Kacy has to be there at 5:30. “Shit! I’ve got to turn around.”
Kacy starts crying because she’s going to be late. “Mom! I told you to drop me off first!”
Averi looks at me. “Just drop me off, Mom. We’re only 5 minutes away.”
“I can’t. Kacy’s already going to be late.” I drive to the next turn around spot on the highway and traffic going in the direction I now need to go, is heavy.
Kacy’s crying and Averi’s crying. They”re both yelling at me because they’re going to be late. I’m trying to drive and think, how in the hell am I going to do this?
“I’m sorry. I thought we had this.” Damn it. I thought I had my shit together, for once.
I think about calling one of Averi’s teammates to see if she can catch a ride to practice with them, but she’s in the middle school band too, so she’ll be missing practice for the concert.
I consider having Averi miss practice and suggest it to her. She loses her mind.
5:32 I called Kristi, a mom of one of Averi”s other teammates, to see if she’d left yet and if there’s anyway she could meet me somewhere and take Ave to practice. Thank God, she can. We plan to meet in the Amazon parking lot.
5:34 I drive by Amazon. “Amazon’s right there, mom” Averi says pointing.
“I know, but I have to drop Kacy off at the high school first.”
“MOM,” Averi cried.
“Averi, I can not just drop you off there to stand outside in the cold and wait for Kaylee’s mom. It’s freezing out there and you’re wearing shorts.”
“Can’t you just wait here for Ms. Kristi?”
“No, Averi,” Kacy kicks the seat. “I have to get to my concert. I’m already late!”
5:41 I drop Kacy off at the high school. “I’m sorry you’re late. Good luck, honey. I love you.”
I head back to Amazon to meet Kristi. Averi is crying,”Now Kaylee and I are both going to be late and I’m not going to have time to do my homework!”
5:51 I speed through the mostly empty Amazon parking lot. (It’s a brand new warehouse being built, so it’s not open yet). Kristi is there waiting for us. Averi jumps into their van.
I call Kristi to thank her profusely while I speed back to the high school to catch Kacy’s concert.
5;56 Wade calls. “I’m heading in now.”
“Sit up in the balcony section, I’ll meet you there. My ETA is 5:59”
I pull into the high school parking lot and of course, I have to park further away because all the closer spots are taken. I jump out of the van with Keelie and Caden following closely behind me. “Run, guys! We”re late!”
6:00 I’m running up the stairs to the balcony of the auditorium when I hear the band director talking. The concert is starting!
I walk into the dark auditorium and see Wade standing there, his back toward me. I walk up closely behind him and nudge him intimately. “I made it.”
He turns to me and I see his face. IT’S NOT WADE. My arm is around a complete stranger. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry! I thought you were my husband.”
I turn around and spot Wade waving at me. He’s sitting toward the middle of the row. The concert has started so everyone has their phones out recording their 6th grader playing. There is no way I can get to Wade without disrupting everyone, so I stand to the side and wait until the first song is finished. The row behind Wade has less people in it so as soon as the song is over, I make a go for it and end up hopping over the seat to sit next to Wade as we watch Kacy’s 12 minute concert.
That my friends, is 45 minutes of real life.
Welcome to the real world.